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Hide & Seek

"The earth is the Lord's,

 And everything in it,

 The world,

 And all who live in it."

            Psalms 24:1

There is me. There is the world. There is me versus the world. There is me in the world. There is me hiding from the world. Is there a constant in all of this? I am always here. The world is always here, there, and everywhere waiting for me to make an appearance. Actually, the world waits for no one. When I finally show up, the world is just there. It is always there.

I can expend all of my life’s energy trying to hide from people, places, and things (AKA “The World”), and believe me, I have tried. Hiding has not only been exhausting but it has also been life-sapping. For all of my hard work on self-protection, I have often been left with great discontent. There never seems to be joy, peace, or just contentment found in hiding.

To Hide: (a verb)

-to put out of sight: Secrete

-to conceal for shelter or protection: Shield

-to keep secret

-to screen from view: Obscure

-to turn away

-to remain out of sight

-to seek protection

-to evade responsibility

(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Just the above definition wears me out. How could I not be exhausted when I do any of the above? There is just too much action involved when I hide from the world. There is too much world to hide from. Don’t worry, I am not speaking of those times we need to step back and rest. Neither am I speaking of those times we need to say “no” to the world’s many, even countless, requests. Taking a vacation is not hiding. Saying “no” is not hiding. I know an extremely social woman who, on Sundays, steps back and says “no” to invitations. Instead, she chooses to rest. She is way more social than I could ever be but she keeps her health and sanity by stepping back, saying “no” and resting. Again, I believe that is NOT hiding. She is being who she is and is accepting all parts of who she is, as well as being comfortable with herself.

After all, isn’t that what hiding is all about? I hide because I am not comfortable. If I am truthful, it is not the big beautiful (sometimes not beautiful) world causing me discomfort. It is me being uncomfortable with me. When I hide, I am just trying to protect myself from being seen for who I am. When I am comfortable with myself, even liking certain parts of me, I am saved from the exhaustion of needing to hide.

Hiding is not just an action. It is a drug I use to dull the pain and the angst. It may even work for a while, but it always wears off. More and more hiding is a poor option because of the side effects: Exhaustion, Sadness, Emptiness, and Discontent. I vote for Self-acceptance, Peace, Joy, and Happiness. How about you?

Young woman trying to hide between dark tapestry curtains.


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